I haven’t had any type of immunizing shot since I went to college.

(I graduated in 2001.) shhhh

Am I going to die of something that was basically cured in 1929?

Anonymous asked: Does your dude know about your ex and the whole situation? Does he read your blog?

My dude knows about the ex, and he knows about the situation, but it is not something that we have discussed at length.  I think it is pretty difficult for him to imagine me as “that girl” and I can tell that it upsets him and enrages him that someone treated me that way (only one of the MANY MANY reasons that I love him so much).  Mainly I think it is difficult for him to process since I am a completely different person now.  

He is aware of the blog, and we talk about things that have been posted and messages that I have received, but he does not read the blog.  He occasionally will say, “is this going to make the blog?”… and he’s stopped asking what I’m doing when I take out my iphone and point it at my food.  So, I think he views the blog as one of my friends…he knows about it, but it’s mine. 

There have been so many of you that have “Asked” what you should do about a friend in an abusive relationship.  I will not publish your questions, since they are so personal, but this is the only way I know to answer all of you.  

It is difficult to explain.  Thinking back I really can’t give one reason that i stayed but more like a ramble of thoughts.  Honestly, guys like that don’t start out abusive, they start out like the perfect man.  They woo you, tell you how beautiful you are and really just suck you in.  Then when they tire of putting on a mask their true colors show and by then you just keep trying to figure out what you did to turn your perfect man into such a monster.  

My ex began drinking after his mother died suddenly due to hospital negligence. The wrongful death suit took a toll on him and he began to drink…a lot…and very often.  So, I relied heavily on the excuse that he was an alcoholic and that he could get help.  

I tried way to hard to understand what he was going through instead of thinking about myself.  In some ways it is that notion of love and commitment that we are taught that kept me there.  We were engaged and I thought that meant I had to stick by him.  I was young, in love, and naive and of course I didn’t want to seem selfish so I didn’t think about myself, much less put myself first.  

I only had one friend who knew and she ALWAYS told me that I could make it on my own.  She did not support my relationship and he was not welcome in her home, even though I always was.  I realized that was not a way to live, having to keep friends and my fiance separate but I still did nothing.  

I don’t really know what anyone could have done to “save” me…I don’t think anyone could have said anything.  I had to hit my own bottom and it took almost being choked to death to get there.  

Wow, I typed a lot, sorry….I guess what I’m trying to say is that you may not support the relationship and you shouldn’t because abusive relationships are dangerous, but my advice would be to tell her that you know….and that you don’t support her decision to be with him, but that you do support her.